Wedding Guest Lists: Common Issues On who NOT to Invite

The guest list for a wedding carries with it more problems than people might think. The reason why is because so many people want to have their say on who comes- parents, friends, and other family members. This can amount of unneeded headaches and add more tension to an already stressful situation. Lucky, there are a few solutions that you can use to make this road a lot less rocky. Let’s learn how to deal with the most common wedding guest list issues that you will encounter and how to fix them.

Issue #1: Inviting the Ex

Probably one of the more prominent issues associated with a wedding guest list when either the bride or groom wants to invite their ex. However, have you ever stopped to think that maybe your fiancé doesn’t want your ex-boyfriend or ex-boyfriend to attend the wedding? Before you intend on making a move like this, always make sure that you sit down and have a loooong, deep discussion with your fiancé. It would be very disrespectful and could cause a lot of trouble if you invited your ex without telling them first.

Issue #2: Questionable Guests

Since this is going to be a very special day in your life, you’ll want to invite only those people who are going to be able to safely and comfortable experience this day with you. Questionable guests are individuals who may be prone to getting too intoxicated or embarrassing family or friends. These may be guests that you should consider leaving off of the list. If for whatever reason your fiancé or family wants to invite them, sit down and let them know why you don’t think it is a good idea. Hopefully, this talk can lead to a compromise of some kind.

Brilliant excerpt of a REAL wedding dis-invitation to abusive parents. Complete invite and more can be found HERE.

Brilliant excerpt of a REAL wedding dis-invitation to abusive parents. See the complete invite and more HERE.

Issue #3: Guilt Invites

In more than one occasions, you may feel compelled to invite someone to your wedding purely out of guilt. However, before you go and do this realize that it can lead to significant problems, especially if that individual is someone who your fiancé your family doesn’t approve or if that person is obnoxious and doesn’t get along with others. Make sure that everyone is one the same page in regards to the invite list for your wedding and try not invite someone because you feel sorry for them.

Issue #4: What if Your Guest List is Too Long?

More times than not, your guest list are going to be a little too big and you will need to remove a few people in order to have a wedding that fits within your budget. Every wedding guest list needs to have a limit. Otherwise, amount of people that you will invite will grow infinitely larger. When your list is too large, make sure that you go through it with your fiancé and separate those individuals who absolutely need to be there from those individuals who don’t “need” to be there. This should help you decrease the amount of people on your wedding guest list by a lot.

These easy (and easier) to use flowchart might help you decide who to invite.

Bride and Groom: These easy (and easier) to use flowcharts might help you decide who to invite.

Issue # 5: Deciding if You Should Invite Someone

There are plenty of people in your life who make great acquaintances but these individuals wouldn’t be close enough to you to be invited to your wedding. Remember that it is okay to say not to certain people in your life. Essentially, you want people there who are going to experience and share this precious day with you- not take advantage of free food and an exciting after party.

Also keep in mind whether or not a certain person has other people who would be required to attend with them. For example, if you are going to invite a co-worker who has a spouse and three children then it would be rude to only invite them. You need to take into consideration the side of the entire party so that you can accurately determine how many people you will need to invite.


Wedding guest lists don’t need to be as difficult as most engaged couples make them out to be. The key to acquiring a solidly numbered list is to have the backbone to only invite those people who want to share this special day with you. And above all, ALWAYS speak with your fiancé and family before inviting questionable guests.

Have you had to remove people from your wedding guest lists for any of the reasons above (or any other reason)?  If so, share what the reason was and if it was an easy or difficult decision for you to make.