Most people think the opposite to be true, but engaged couples often encounter more stress than married couples due to the wedding itself. Planning such a special day often requires filtering thousands of different wedding options while ultimately trying to keep your fiancé, family, and friends all happy. In this article, we are going to shed light on these issues by diving in and discussing the more prominent stressors associated with planning a wedding and how to solve them as an engaged couple in a proactive and positive manner. So without further delay, let’s begin!
Problem #1: Family Guest Count with Limited Finances
In all the years that couples have been getting married, there probably isn’t a recorded case where both families invited the same number of guests. If you are currently or have been married in the past then you already know many problems and stresses can arise from this. The issue can be even more complicated if the budget for the wedding is relatively small or if the family that isn’t contributing is bringing a lot of guests. Remember, guest count directly impacts many major wedding related services, from catering costs to the size of the venue needed to the size of the wedding cake.
How to Resolve: If finances are an issue, talk with both families in an open way to see if they can contribute to the wedding and how much. Make it clear that guest counts will be limited to invited guests only if the costs associated with the wedding aren’t sufficiently addressed. Not being able to invite Aunt Mary’s family or Second Cousin Nick may cause some friction, but with average wedding costs currently running at almost $30,000, it can be understandable to all if the bride and groom have to compromise on who comes to the wedding by providing each family with a limited amount of “extras” that they can use to invite others.
Problem #2: Groom’s Involvement in Planning Process
How to Resolve: It is unlikely that the groom does not care about how everything goes on your wedding day, and there may be valid reasons why he is taking a step back from the planning process. If you are a bride and are reading this, then simply inquire about his lack of participation and encourage him to contribute more in the planning. If he’s open to it, delegate some tasks he can handle or ask his opinion on an issue you are facing (this has the added benefit of working through problems together). Although he may not seem ecstatic about it at first, he’ll most likely yield if you effectively communicate your needs in this department and keep him engaged throughout the process. If you are a groom and are reading this, then try to add more value to the wedding planning and share as many unique ideas as you can with your bride so she knows you care about what happens.
Problem #3: Money
Lack of money is such a common issue that couples face when planning a wedding that it always ranks at the top of concerns for engaged couples, and rightfully so. Everyone wants to have the best experience possible on their big day, but this can come at a cost. Whether the bride wants an overly expensive wedding dress, or the groom wants to share an expensive bachelor party with his friends, or the couple reserves an extravagant reception venue to impress their guests, the costs associated with these decisions can cause much unneeded anxiety.
How to Resolve: The best way to resolve this problem is to sit down and have an honest talk with your fiancé about your available wedding budget. Assuming that you already have a budget planned (which you should), you and your fiancé can go over the numbers to conclude what you can and cannot afford. If you can, try to compromise and find some common ground in regards to what you both would like or what vendors you can work with. Being open with this issue while working together should make the planning process much less stressful and more fun!
BONUS: In order to help you with spending your hard earned money wisely, we at Decidio have compiled a list of incredibly useful tips on how to save on each and every wedding service you will need to hire! Simply move your cursor over ‘Compare Vendors’ in our top navigation and click on any of the wedding services that appear.
Problem #4: Religion
Although this isn’t as common as money, religion related disagreements can result in some problems when planning a wedding. When a bride and groom come from two different religious backgrounds, chances are good that the families also support the same ideologies. Because of these religious differences, families often become involved as to how the ceremony will be performed, which can really slow down the planning process.
How to Resolve: There really isn’t much that you can do when a situation like this unfolds. The best thing you can do to resolve it would be to sit down with your fiancé and discuss the options that you have available, such as finding a way to incorporate both of your ideologies into the wedding. As an option, you can have clergy of each faith present at the ceremony to placate both families. Alternatively, you can go neutral and not incorporate either one. Either way, religious differences are an emotional issue and are tied into our identities of who we are. As such, they must be settled if you plan on moving forward together in life.
Problem #5: The Bachelor Party
If there is one thing that brides dread, it’s the idea of the bachelor party. We’ve all heard stories of grooms inviting strippers to their bachelor party or otherwise involving themselves in some kind of other negative behavior. However, bachelor parties (like bachelorette parties) are a part of weddings and they provide both parties with one last chance to “be themselves” before engaging in the married life. So, what can you do to prevent unwanted behavior from your man during the bachelor party?
How to Resolve: Basically, all that you can do is speak with your groom and let him understand that there needs to be a few boundaries. Although these boundaries are going to be different from bride to bride, the important thing is that you are openly discussing and agreeing to them together. Many couples nowadays address this issue by opting for having a single joint party attended by the entire wedding party. However, separate parties are still the norm and trust must be present if you are going to embark on your new life together.
Although there are many other issues that we could add to the list above, these five are generally considered the most common. Addressing each challenge together is not only the best way to handle them, but is also great practice on understanding each other and facing the future problems life will bring!