How to Handle In-Laws Taking Over Your Wedding

Planning a wedding can be enough of a challenge but having in-laws attempting to “take it over” can cause it to be much more stressful. After all, this is a special day for you and your fiancé and you both really want to have a say in the overall direction of your wedding.

So, what steps can you take when in-laws and other family members are trying to steer it away from your original ideas? While it can be a tricky situation, there are ways to effectively handle in-laws and prevent them from taking over the wedding planning process.

What Should You Do?

First and foremost, you can’t simply deny in-laws a chance to voice their opinions regarding a wedding. This is especially true if they are helping pay for it. As a result, you’ll need to embrace them for all that they’re worth and realize that it is going to take some time before both parties are able to effectively communicate with one another.

Learn to Listen

Try to really listen to what your in-laws are attempting to change about the wedding. Some couples get so caught up in having their vision seen through that they aren’t open to better ideas. If an in-law suggests something then listen to it with an open mind. Despite what you may believe, this is a day that is just as special to them as it is to both you and your fiancé.

Welcome Them with Open Arms

Nothing can make the planning phase of a wedding more frustrating or awkward than when in-laws and the bride and groom aren’t able to communicate. While you shouldn’t expect this in the beginning, you’ll really want to engage them on a regular basis in order to build any kind of meaningful relationship with them. Not only does this show a lot of respect on your part but it will make the planning process and big day run much more smoothly.

Speak With Your Fiancé about Your Wedding Plans First

Before you discuss your wedding plans with your in-laws, make sure that you have done so with your fiancé first. The last thing you want is having your fiancé be shocked when you tell your wedding plans to your in-laws. Once you’ve done this, present your ideas with the parents and ask them for some feedback. In most cases, they will very welcoming regarding some of your ideas. However, do be prepared for some feedback from time to time.

Stick With Your Partner

Although it can be difficult, try to stick to your partner’s side throughout the entire ordeal. You shouldn’t try to take the side of the in-laws just to please them. This will make your partner feel trapped and unappreciated. Considering that you’re going to spend the rest of your lives together, you’ll definitely want to consult everything with each other first before letting the in-laws know. This will make the planning phase of the wedding much more manageable.

Standing Up For Your Ideas

Finally, both you and your fiancé shouldn’t feel afraid to stand up for your ideas. In some cases, you may need to move forward with a specific idea, even without full support from the in-laws. However, you should still keep them in knowing because this shows respect.

Plus, they will probably be chipping in financially so it would be very rude otherwise. Even if they don’t agree with the route that you and your fiancé are taking, your in-laws will be very pleased to hear about the plans that the two of you have.


Remember that nothing works better than effective communication during these situations.  And remember to honesty is the key to having your needs met. Make sure that you stick by your partner’s side no matter what. Otherwise, he or she will feel very overwhelmed and even trapped if you simply take your in-law’s side just to please them.

Have you or someone you know had to deal with in-laws wanting to take over the wedding?  How did you react to the situation, and why?  Share your experiences below and help other couples learn how to better handle this stressful situation.