How to Get Fiancé Involved in Wedding Planning

Studies and experience has shown us that women tend to be a little more involved in the wedding planning process than men. Obviously, there are exceptions to the rule by the general consensus suggests that men don’t show as much enthusiasm as they should regarding the overall planning.

Women will purchase books, read bridal magazines, and subscribe to wedding planning websites in order to gain as much knowledge about their special day as possible. Meanwhile, most men will plan on a “whim” and don’t be fully dedicated to the process.

There are many reasons for this and in the following article we are going to provide you with some tips for getting them more involved.

Don’t Overreact

First and foremost, don’t get mad at your fiancé for not wanting to contribute as much to the planning process as you do. They may not even realize that what they are doing is wrong. Just because you are showing a high level of investment in the process doesn’t mean that you should automatically expect them to reciprocate.

Have a private discussing with them about the matter if you feel as though they aren’t contributing as much as they should. They aren’t mind readers and the only way to air out this problem is to talk it out. Also remember that being honest is very important. It is the only way to have your concerns addressed when your fiancé doesn’t want to cooperate.

Utilize Effective Communication

Effective communication is one of the first things that you’ll need to do. Take your fiancé, set them aside, and let them know how you feel. In most cases, they will completely understand with the way that you feel and will make the necessary changes you seek.

Make sure that you are addressing what you really want as well. For example, if you want them to be involved in choosing a wedding ceremony or the reception venue. You can’t expect them to take action on their own so simply asking what you’d like help with can take you both a long way in the matter.

Times Are Changing: Brides now are more willing to share wedding planning with their partners than they were in the past.

Times Are Changing: Brides now are more willing to share wedding planning duties with their partners than they have in the past. Graphic courtesy of NYDailyNews

Ways to Get Your Fiancé Involved

Fortunately, there are a few effective ways to get your fiancé involved in the wedding planning process. Below are some solutions that you should definitely consider trying:

  • Apply Their Creativity: Is your fiancé creative? If so then you should try to get them involved in the creative aspects of the wedding planning phase. You could ask them to come up with color schemes for the ceremony or design a cover for the invitation letters.
  • Focus on Their Strengths: Is your fiancé someone who is relatively good at managing money? If so then you could ask them to be in charge of the “wedding planning fund”. Not only will this make them feel appreciated but it will also take a huge burden off of your own shoulders.
  • Ask Them to Negotiate: If your fiancé is someone who is particularly savvy at negotiating then you should ask them to negotiate on the various aspects of the wedding planning process. Not only will this get them involved but it will ultimately allow you to save a lot more money when planning your wedding.
  • Collaborate When Writing Vows: Writing wedding vows can be a lot of fun. As a result, you can your fiancé can get together and collaborate when writing your vows. Not only will this get them involved but it can be a huge stress reliever (something highly useful during the planning phase of a wedding).

Other Ways They Can Help

There are also other ways that you can have your fiancé help when planning the wedding. For example, you can have them choose the DJ or band for your wedding. As a matter of fact, you can provide them with full control over that area. Giving them this much responsibility will ultimately make them feel obligated to help out.


When all else fails, simply speak to them one-on-one and demonstrate to them that planning a wedding is hard enough- and that you don’t want to do it alone. The majority of the times, having a heart-to-heart talk with your fiancé will kick start their interest in wanting to help and could solve all of your problems.