4 Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Writing your own wedding vows is no easy task.  Just ask any married couple about the subject to get a better understanding of the unique challenges involved.  It can be hard to write down your deepest thoughts and emotions, but doing so can be an eye-opening experience and one that you definitely want to share with your loved one.  If you are up for the challenge and want to learn the best way to write your own wedding vows, then take a look no further than the tips below.

Worth Seeing #1: Before we begin, you should really see how being in touch with yourself and your feelings can result in an ultimate expression of your love towards your future spouse.  Rob Demeritt absolutely nails this concept with the video below:

Start Early

This is a tip that CANNOT be stressed enough, especially if you aren’t a good writer. The last thing that you or your fiancé want to do is to feel the pressure of writing your vows in a rushed fashion the day before the wedding.  It is more than likely that you both will be too nervous at that point to properly reflect on what the other person means to you and how you envision your future lives together.

Pro Tip: Try to give yourself at least one month to complete your vows to each other.

Remember that vow writing is something that should be done when you are feeling relaxed and when you are in the proper state of mind. If you are stressing about future deadlines or focused on something else, then your vows risk not sounding genuine or from the heart.  Plus, having your vows done early will give you both enough time to proofread everything to ensure that it sounds exactly the way you want it to.

Determine the Logistics

Be certain that both you and your fiancé are on the same page when it comes to vow writing. For example, are you each going to write your vows separately? Are you going to write them together? If you do decide to write them separately, are you going to show them to one another before the wedding? If the two of you decide to write them together then are you going to recite the same words as you would with traditional vow writing? Asking yourself all of these questions is very important because you’ll know what to expect.

Pro Tip: Remember, your vows are just meant for you and your future spouse!  There is NO one set way to write vows, and could be written as poems or songs, be silly or funny, short or long…as long as they sound like YOU!

If you and your fiancé do decide to write your vows separately then try to send a copy of what you have written to a family member, friend, or the wedding officiant. They can then read it over and provide some feedback and possibly point you in a direction that is more in line with that your fiancé was writing about (without actually spilling the beans).

Worth Seeing #2: Here is a couple that both took the time to write their feelings and harmonized their vows with each other seamlessly.

Set Time Aside

Probably the best thing you can do for yourself when it comes to vow writing is to stop moving. Simply sit down and start to brainstorm. You would be surprised by how much easier it is to write your heart down on paper when you are relaxed.  If you’d like to incorporate your fiancé into this process then make a date out of it. The two of you can get together and talk about when you first met as well as your futures together.

This will get the creative flow going and hopefully provide you with a few ideas as to what you should include into your vows. As your fiancé what they love most about you. Ask them what your plans are for the future and where the two of you see each other five years from now. Following this tip should allow you to come up with better ideas for your vows and hopefully inspire a few ideas in your fiancé as well.

Worth Seeing #3: If you don’t plan on following this tip, at least you can get some traditional (but still nice) vows written for you like this couple did:

Timing is Critical

Make sure that you don’t make your vows too long. Your goal should be to make them last about a minute or so (this is a lot longer than it sounds). Don’t feel as if shorter vows do not ‘mean as much’ as longer ones do. Remember that there is a ceremony to be had, and reciting vows for fifteen minutes can both lessen the impact of the message(s), but also really throw things out of sync. If you feel as though your vows are too long, then go through them and pick out the most important elements as you distill them to arrive at your essential message.

Following the tips above should help you move forward towards writing your vows the right way! If you would like to add to the list above based on your own (or someone else’s) experience, we would love it if you would share your thoughts by commenting below.